yeay! :) (2)


i got this anny gifts from her today. im so happy :)
sadly, i have nothing to give her today :(
im so sorry, darl :(
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Happy Anniversary, darl ♥ (1)

YOU are the most important person for me and this is how i describe you, baby

YOU are the sun which brightens up my mornings

YOU are the spring which bring life to my flowers

YOU are the melodies that are sang by the birds outside my window

YOU are the inspiration to my goals, dreams & aspirations

YOU are the tears that always threaten to fall

YOU are the pride that i feel when i walk with u by my side

YOU are the words for that Kelly Clarkson song 'One Moment Like This'

YOU are the blessing that i pray for each night before i go to bed

YOU are the night light which i keep at the top of my head

YOU are the beautiful princess of all the romance novels that I've read

YOU are the ONE & ONLY that I've waited for all my life

YOU are the fur on my teddy that bring comfort to & warmth to on a rainy night

YOU are the smile which stretches across my face from ear to ear

YOU are the twinkle i get in my eyes every time i am feeling mischievous

YOU are the flame to the fire i feel burning inside

YOU are the lovely fragrances that fill up my nostrils

YOU are the first thing on my mind as i rise in the morning

YOU are the cure to every unwanted illness

YOU are the sugar to my candy coated chocolate

YOU are the cheese in my delicious strawberry cheesecake

YOU are my baby, my angel, my princess, my world

You are the breath of fresh air that i take in during sunrise

You are the wonderful colours that brighten up the sky when the sun leaves us

You are the water that i drink to refresh my throat

YOU are an angel in disguise who came to guide me

YOU are the very person my poetry describes

YOU are the last person on my mind before going to bed and even while i sleep you're on my mind

You are the hearty laughter that i let out during or after a joke

You are the chill up my spine when my dreams come true

YOU are the weakness in my knees when i see or feel ur body

YOU are the one who makes my heart beat faster when you come around.


This is how i feel from the start

At times the days seemed so long, I thought I'd never make it through,
Then suddenly, out of a dream, I have met someone like you.
I had locked up all my feelings and I'd thrown away the key,
Until your heart spoke a thousand words I knew were meant to be.
When times turned rough and lonely, and despair fell upon my face,
You comforted me and kept me safe in that loving special place.

You don't realize what you have and what you've done for me,
But the way you managed to steal my heart is what has set me free.
You've given me a feeling that no one else could ever change,
Your love has touched a place in me that I always found so strange.
It's as if you were cut right out of a spell cast upon my heart,
Because the crazy thing about it is, I've loved you from the start.

No one in this wide world could touch the feelings we share;
To the seconds I spend with you, nothing can compare.
You've opened my eyes and heart just enough and let me live,
You've changed my world with magic and the kindness that you give.
My heart was broken, and I thought love was so far away,
But you came into my life and showed me a better day.

Like crystal clear blue waters or a magical sunset,
That moment speaks a thousand words to which no price can be met.
I wish I could just stop time and spend the whole night in your eyes,
For when I'm with you there's a feeling even I cannot describe.
Although my heart holds painful memories that will never be erased,
You touch me with a love so strong it hides that lonely place.

Heartbreak, loss and misery were all I ever knew,
Until someone showed me happiness and that someone was you.
Your gentle words and loving arms lift me up when I am down,
And, baby, with all you've done for me you've turned my world around.
Your love is so consistent, like the waves that break on shore,
And with every day my love for you still grows, just more and more.

When broken dreams still fill my days and nothing's going right,
You reassure me with your smile and give me back my sight.
You sweep a spell across my heart, like a breeze across the sea,
And you fill my world with beautiful dreams & feelings meant to be.
The way you live, the way you love and even so much more,
With every smile that you give, you're all I could ask for.

You are in every breath I take and in every tear I cry,
You're in every star I wish upon up in the lonely sky.
Every day with you is heaven, like an angel from above,
A million magic moments sent to give you all my love.
You are living proof that prayers and dreams really do come true,
And I thank God for that special day he blessed my heart with you.

I could speak of a thousand promises or even bet my very soul,
the rest of my life, I'll be touched with a feeling no one can control.
Fate, destiny or magic may be the reason that we met,
But all I know is the days with you I never will forget.
Until the day I found you I never knew a love so true,
But from today until eternity I swear I'll be loving you!



It's only words and words are all I have to take your heart away.

Happy 1st anniversary, nabilah yazid :)

I ♥ you :)

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maaf semua. (0)

19 tahun. mungkin sudah cukup. hatiku berbelah bahagi. aku pernah terfikir untuk memilih jalan ini. kali ini mungkin tidak akan berpatah balik. maaf semua. aku terpaksa memilih jalan singkat ini. demi kebaikan semua. terima kasih semua kerana pernah mewarnai hidupku. selamat tinggal. Labels:

60 things guys wish girls knew *sigh* (0)

--Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them!
(oh yeah..you're not "popular" if you've slept with more than 5 guys..you're a HOE)

--"Hey, are you busy?" or "Are you doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

--Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

--Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

--Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

--Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him.

--Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they're goin for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize-how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are
method.

--A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.

--Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.

--Don't talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend.

--Guys get jealous easily.

--Guys are more emotional than they'd like people to think.

--Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...nevermind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.

--Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.

--Guys hate asking parents for money to buy girls presents. So they come up with ideas like saving their lunch money for a week. But it never works because guys are always hungry so they end up asking the parents for money anyway.

--Girls are guys' weaknesses.

--Guys are very open about themselves.

--It's good to test a guy first before you trust him. But don't let him wait too long.

--Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.

--If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.

--A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

--Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.

--Guys will brag about anything.

--Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. We rarely use beautiful. If a guy uses that, he likes you a whole hell of a lot.

--Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.

--Guys seek for advice from girls not other guys. Because most guys think alike, so if one guy's confused, then we're all confused.

--Any guy could write out a rulebook or advice book for flirting, but no guy can write out a book about relationships.

--Try to be as straightforward as possible.

--A guy has to experience rejection, because if he's too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won't be mature and grown up.

--If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.

--No matter how much guys talk about asses and boobs, personality is key.

--Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.

--Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped.

--If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and is spazzing inside.

--When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.

--When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me."

--Guys don't really have final decisions.

--If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up.

--If your best guy friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you're with your boyfriend, he's probably jealous and likes you.

--When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something.

--Guys like femininity not feebleness.

--Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.

--A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.

--Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.

--Everything in moderation. Put on makeup, wear perfume. Just not too much.

--Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.

--Guys hate rejection, but they hate being led on even more.

--Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.

--A guy would give his left nut to be able to read a girl's mind for a day.

--No guy can handle all his problems on his own. He's just too stubborn to admit it.

--Not all guys are assholes. Just because ONE is a jackass doesnt mean he represents ALL of us.

--We don't like girls who are too skinny.

--We love it when girls talk about there boobs.

--Always make sure you know what kind of stuff your getting into before making out with a guy ...like wheather it's a one time deal or not ....

--Believe it or not shy guys are the most easiest to talk to..it may not seem right but trust me they will start opening up like books after you just ask them questions about their lives and unoticable tell them about yours...

--When a guy hits your butt it means that he wants you sexually

--Even if they refuse it all guys are ticklish on the ribs..

--Guys love neck rubs and if he lets you keep doing it ..it means that he really likes you or his neck really hurts...

--Guys will test the waters to see how far they can get with you. Even if he doesn't intend to it will happen. Know how far it is you want to let him go and he will respect that...after you let him know a couple times.

--When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible.
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booooooyaaaahhhhhh! (2)


My darling

I miss you so much

The softness of your lips

and your warm loving touch

Many uncontrollable circumstances

have kept us sometimes apart

Yet every moment i carry you

Deep within my heart

When ever we are together

My spirit is such aglow

You always colour my world

Like a beautiful rainbow

You are the love of my life

that you will always be

The special times we share

Just mean everything to me

Each time we kiss

Theres nothing so sublime

always deliciously so fresh

like the very first time

Holding you close in my arms

Flames my passion and desire

My soul are burning

Like I am ravaged in fire

Each day I find happiness

Such joy and laughter

Knowing that soon we will be together

And living happily ever after.


i miss you, nabilah :(


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out of the blue. (0)

hidup ini bagaikan roda. kadang kala kita di atas. kadang kala kita di bawah. aku x menafikan frasa ini. kerana aku pernah menagalami nya. mungkin aku berbeza dari insan yang lain. aku bermula dari atas. ketika aku kecil, aku telah berada di puncak. aku, seorang anak angkat yang dipelihara oleh dua insan mulia iaitu abah dan mak, seorang anggota polis dan surirumah dari keluarga yang berpendapatan sederhana, bagaikan berjalan di atas karpet merah dunia. berjalan dengan megahnya. mungkin ketika itu terasa ilmu penuh di dada, di sanjung oleh masyarakat dan jalan kejayaan seperti telah terbentang luas di depan ku. namun, sangkaan aku meleset. aku hanya berada di atas ketika zaman kecil ku sahaja bukan seumur hidupku. aku mula berputar ke bawah. berputar dengan pantas dalam beberapa tahun ini. aku terasa seperti hidup ku telah berada di paras yang paling bawah. paras yang paling susah dan mencabar dalam hidup ku. ketika inilah aku belajar erti kesusahan, penat lelah membanting tulang, kesabaran dan banyak lagi. ketika ini juga, aku menjadi lebih matang dan perlu mengubah hidupku. lantas aku fikirkan masa depanku, abah dan mak, keluarga kandung ku, saudara maraku dan nabilah. apakah yang dapat aku lakukan demi menjamin masa depan mereka kelak? andai aku pergi sebelum mereka ini, apakah aku dapat memberikan kesenangan kepada mereka yang telah banyak berkorban masa dan tenaga untuk ku? aku tidak mahu meninggalkan mereka dalam kesusahan. aku melihat situasi ini dari sudut berbeza dengan fikiran yang positif. akan ku pikul tanggungjawab menyara mereka. aku anggap situasi ini sebagai titik tolak untuk mengubah hidupku dan mereka di sekelilingku. aku perlu berusaha keras untuk mengumpul duit sebanyak mana yang ku mampu. namun, tidak sekali kali aku akan mengabaikan pelajaran ku. itu adalah salah satu syarat untuk mengahwini nabilah. mungkin sesetengah orang prejudis dengan dengan fikiran ku ini. baru setahun jagung, tetapi sudah fikir untuk berkahwin. ya. aku telah berfikir panjang dalam hal ini. tetapi aku tidak hipokrit seperti kalian. berpura - pura tidak memikirkan masa depan tetapi jauh di lubuk hati berasa takut untuk berdepan dengan nya. aku juga berbeza dengan kalian. aku tidak percaya hanya dengan memperolehi sekeping kertas yang dikejar oleh hampir semua penduduk dunia mampu menjadikan hidup seseorang itu terjamin. telah banyak bukti insan yang tanpa pelajaran berjaya membina empayar masing masing. mendiang lim goh tong sebagai contoh. aku amat kagumi semangat yang cekal pada dirinya. aku pernah membaca kisahnya lama dahulu ketika mendiang masih hidup lagi. beliau dilahirkan dalam keluarga yang susah dan mempunyai ramai adik beradik di china. seawal umur beliau 19 tahun, beliau berhijrah ke malaysia setelah 3 tahun kematian bapanya. sampai beliau ke sini, beliau bekerja sebagai tukang kayu dan berkembang sehingga menjadi kontraktor kelas A dan menjadi pengasas genting holdings. sebuah syarikat yang disegani di malaysia malah di rantau asia. segala - galanya bermula ketika umur beliau 19 tahun. ya. seusia dengan ku. bukti seorang yang tidak mempunyai pendidikan formal mampu berjaya dan berada di atas. aku ingin membina sebuah legacy baru. meninggalkan sesuatu yang bernilai dan mampu menjamin kesenangan keluargaku. sehingga mampu menyara cucuku walaupun anak anak ku tidak bekerja. begitulah ibaratnya. aku ingin mengubah persepsi masyarakat terhadap ku. aku ingin buat mereka kagum semula dengan ku. aku ingin mencipta sejarah di bumi malaysia. aku ingin menjadi salah seorang melayu yang tersenarai dalam senarai jutawan malaysia dan dunia. inilah impian ku. aku pelu berusaha dengan lebih gigih lagi untuk mencapai cita cita ku. semoga orang orang yang tersayang banyak bersabar dengan ku dan sentiasa berada di belakang ku.
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my wishlist :) (1)

TOP 10











all of them are from adidas original and adidas porche design. except for the CK watch. i hope all of 'em are available here. i mean malaysia. but, i dun have a penny. when i have some, i will buy all of them :) i hope i will get 'em soon :)
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kosong. (0)

aku rasa x berguna. aku x pandai. aku bodoh. aku jadi bahan makian dan tempat melepas perasaan amarah semua orang. aku dibenci oleh semua orang. dahulu aku disanjung tinggi oleh semua orang. pujian yang diberikan kepadaku menggunung setiap hari. semua orang berebut rebut mendekati aku. tidak kira tua atau muda. kaya atau miskin. semuanya berusaha untuk mendampingi aku. namun segala galanya telah berubah. aku bukan lagi menjadi buah mulut orang ramai. aku tidak lagi dipedulikan. tiada juga orang yang bertanya perihal ku. aku terfikir mengapa segala galanya berubah. aku tahu akan sebab nya. dan aku sengaja merancang hidupku begini. semua yang ku lakukan hanyalah untuk menarik perhatian kedua ibu bapa ku. memang tidak dinafikan, ibuku sangat rapat dengan ku semenjak lahir lagi. begitu juga bapaku. segala kemahuan ku mereka turuti tanpa rungutan. mereka menyediakan kemudahan terbaik kepadaku. tetapi, bukan itu yang aku mahukan dalam hidup ini. aku dahagakan kasih sayang mereka. dahulu, aku amat rapat dengan ayah ku. kemana sahaja dia pergi, pasti tidak lupa membawa pulang buah tangan kepadaku setiap hari. dia pasti menelefon ke rumah untuk bertanya apa kehendak ku supaya dia dapat belikan. aku masih ingat saat itu. senyuman terukir di bibir ku tatkala melihat kelibat ayahku di daun pintu. selepas aku berumur 11 tahun, segala galanya berubah. ayah ku yang dahulunya aku sanjungi dan contohi, berubah menjadi panas baran, kurang memberi perhatian kepadaku dan mencurahkan kasih sayangnya kepada kanak kanak asuhan ibuku. ibuku pun sama. mereka tidak lagi memeriksa kerja rumah ku, mengajar ku menulis dan sebagainya. tetapi, kemahuan ku masih dituruti. tetapi, jauh di sudut hati, aku merajuk seorang diri. tiada siapa yang memahami perasaan aku. mungkin aku hanya anak angkat mereka, tetapi aku tidak pernah sekali pun menganggap mereka begitu. mereka pun sama. mereka menatang aku bagai minyak yang penuh. tetapi, aku merasakan semakin lama semakin pudar kasih sayang yang ayah ku berikan kepada ku. sampai la sekarang.

sekarang, segala benda yang ku lakukan semua nya tidak betul di mata semua orang. mereka mula menjauhi aku. mungkin mereka sudah tidak nampak akan segala sifat ku yang dahulu. mungkin kerana itu mereka menjauhi aku. menjadi adat dunia, jika seseorang itu tidak mempunyai apa apa, orang di sekeliling nya akan berlalu pergi. aku juga selalu gagal dan membawa masalah dalam hubungan aku bersama nabilah. aku berasa sedih kerana tidak dapat membahagiakannya dan membuatnya tersenyum. dia juga mengenakan banyak syarat kepada ku dan kelakuannya tidak ubah seperti seorang majikan ingin mengupah pekerja. aku terima apa saja yang dia lakukan. aku tidak dapat bayangkan jika aku kehilangan nya. aku juga sudah biasa melalui hidup seorang diri. diketika ini juga aku berasa keseorangan. seperti layang layang putus tali. tiada tempat untuk mengadu. tiada siapa yang faham perasaan ku ini. semua orang hanya tahu mengatakan aku ni terlampau manja dan sensitif. tidak mengapa. aku juga terima. mungkin aku perlu kembali seperti dulu. tidak mempunyai perasaan walaupun dimaki, dihina, dan dicela. hanya tahu berdiam diri. mungkin cara itu lebih sesuai denganku. pernah terlintas di fikiran ku yang cetek ini, mengapa aku perlu terus hidup di dunia ini yang seolah olah tiada seorang pun yang mempedulikan dan memahami aku? mengapa insan yang bijak seperti rakan ku iaitu arwah danial mustaza yang pergi dahulu? arwah seorang insan yang berbakat. jaguh dalam bidang sukan dan pandai dalam bidang akademik. tidak seperti aku. jauh beza nya bagai langit dengan bumi. allah lebih sayangkan nya. semoga rohnya ditempatkan dalam kalangan orang orang yang beriman. tetapi, aku juga masih bersyukur kerana dapat hidup sehingga hari ini. moga umur ku panjang. mungkin aku tidak perlu menangis lagi untuk hari hari yang bakal ku lalui. aku sudah penat menangis. terlalu banyak dugaan yang ku tempuhi sepanjang hidupku dan mengajar aku erti tabah dan kesabaran. mungkin ada hikmah di sebalik setiap perkara yang terjadi. aku perlu meneruskan hidup walaupun semangat ku kian lemah.
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again. (0)

it happened again and this time two guys pulak. dah tambah 1. i've told you banyak kali dah. malas nak ulang. i tegur, i kena marah balik. i hope you get it this time. malas nak explain. pandai pandai cari sendiri benda tu. Labels: , , ,

a short one. (1)

hey,blog.
im fucked up.
bye.
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im curious. (0)

hi,blog :)
im bored :(
teman eh? :)

hmm. idk how to start but never mind. i wanna tell you bout my feelings, blog. idk whether im being too sensitive or shes really changed. she always told me that she x sempat reply my texts lately. but, she the one who scolded me because of the same reason. ' u dont have 2-3mins to tell me what r u doing or where are u? im worried tau. jangan buat lagi. lain kali bagitau bby dulu ' now, she did the same thing. not once but everyday lately ni :( and she didnt tell me that she went out for breakfast with her friend. at least she told me her plan. but, i didnt get anything since morning, her subuh time. after 3 hours off waiting, i called her. i asked her where is she and she told me that she was outside having breakfast with her friend. i asked her why u didnt text me and she said ' oh! text! ok ok ' its like a SUPER WEIRD thing to her when i say text. i dont get it. surprisingly, she went out with him without telling me and didnt text me even she was with him pun. i was like wtf la kan. even morning msg pun x dapat, pastu tiba tiba tau dier dah balik semua and baru dier ckp ape dier buat. nak ckp xde crdt mmg ade lah kan. but ntah. she seems like so happy with him and forget everything bout me. i know his gf not there and your bf also not there. but, jgn la bila hangout you guys looks like a couple. he also tell you about his gf and all. i dont mind la kan. u guys are friends. so what? but, jgn la x nampak i langsung when u guys hangout together. to you, maybe i x ckp pape. but, this is how i feel.

nak main basket jap..
bye blog :)
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i miss you ppl! (0)

hey :)
im here again..

im still here. at home. seriously i have pathetic life here. shit! i need to be far away from abah n mak so i can be independent. being here is a good thing for me because i can be with my family. but, with no transport, no pocket money, far away from all my friends, no internet. how can i live like this? all i can do are eat, sleep and wathing tv. im FUCKING BORED ok? luckily few days ago when i logged in to my myspace account, my classmate from my elementary school leave me a msg and add me. she told me that she is my classmate, a daughter to my father's colleague and my neighbour. i tried to remember who is she, but i cant since we are not close. suddenly, i was thinking of my long lost best friend, fahim. i wonder where is he now. i cant find him either in fb or ms. -.-' then, i remembered a name. amalina ahmadudin. i searched for her name at fb. then, i found it. yeay. and you really suprised me. idk that u r wearing tudung now. thats good. i cant contact you guys since i moved to kedah. suddenly i burst into tears when i remember all memories that we shared at kuantan. megat, amalina and musfirah. you guys are my partner in crime. lol. :) fahim and syakir are genius that i always want to beat. all of us work and play hard during our cram session for PTS. haha. i still remember we even race to finish a book of exercise that teacher gave us. i used to boss ppl around back then with amalina. pretend that we do our job when tchr were around. lari2 semua. it was fun weh. hahahaha. thats my only entertainment when im here. T_T i miss some of my highschool friends too. husaini, yusuf, hazazi, jusco, namco. i never meet jusco and namco since i moved out from sdar. ppl do contact me asap ok? (bajet ade org tau je blog ni. lol) and obviously i miss you too, nabilah :(

malas dah,bye :) Labels: , , , ,

here i am. (1)

hey pal :)
im here again to tell u my endless story..
i hope u'll listen :)

im home now :( after 4 days, now only i have the chance to online at a cc nearby. i hate to be here since i have no transport and being far away from everything especially you :( after 4 days at home, abah talked to me just now. abah asked me what's my plan and everything. i told him everything and he is still thinking and kinda agree with my plan. i hope so :) but, mak keep telling me that she wants me to study here ;( luckily abah asked me if im not continuing taylors where i wanna go to pursue my dreams. but, abah quickly asked for my opinion on uniKL, unisel and etc. they are still at kl even not taylors :) and LICENSE please, abah :) im kinda like stranded at an island now. give me a transport please :( to you, i kinda terfikir bout what happened on your birthday that you told me that night. i cried. sorry ;(

i miss you, NABILAH ;(

till then.. Labels: , , , , , ,

7 months :) (2)

10th jan 2010;
we're celebrating our 7 months together today :)
i cant wait to see you,baby ;)
7 months and still counting :))
happy 7 months,baby!
i love you so much,nabilah :)



this is our very first date :)
i miss you,baby :)
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i cant sleep again. (0)

hey,man..
we meet again..

i cant sleep again.. idk why.. after lepak semalam sampai sekarang pun x tido lagi =.=' the only thing i can do is playing poker at fb ;)
lets play texas holdem poker for the whole day..lol

bye,blog.. Labels: , , ,

IM alwAys cLOSER TO YOU (2)

hey,blog..
how are u,man..??
great isnt it..??
me too,bro :)

im pretty sad actually.. i had a HUGE fight with my gf last night.. she still dont give up on persuading me to continue my studies.. she did a good thing and i agree to continue my studies.. she asked me to go back to abah's ASAP since i told her that abah forced me to go back ASAP.. but, i insist because i want to spend time with her first.. i told her that if im going back early, im still not continuing my studies this 11th and abah wont discuss about this thing immediately.. it takes time since we are RARELY talk.. he will talk to me when i caused troubles.. but, NABILAH has a positive mind and she said that people can change and it starts from you.. you here is me lah of course.. suddenly, out of nowhere i attacked her like hell and then i realised that i have crossed the line.. then, she give up and hang up the call.. she was crying.. she still dont want to talk to me until now ;( i fell guilty.. i mean it, NABILAH.. im so sorry ;( i didnt mean to hurt u ;( this is the second time people who are really close to me dont want to talk to me.. 1st one was my best friend few years ago.. please forgive me, NABILAH ;(

btw,the title has 2 ways to read it.. 1 of them with CAPS..

till then,blog.. Labels: , , ,

im in dilemma. (0)

dear,blog :)
listen to my story now..

the first week of this year has past.. during that week, i've been through a lot of shit.. i was thinking bout every single thing that happened and about to happen in my life.. im in dilemma whether i want to work or continue my studies.. but, the most important thing for me now is MONEY.. yes, MONEY.. i want to have my own money.. i dont want to depend on my parents anymore.. i've get in so many trouble last year and wasted a lot of their money for nothing.. NOTHING, ok..?? at the end of the day, i started regretting about every single thing that involved money last year although i never regret about everything that i did in the past.. but,last year is totally different thing to me.. i wasted a year and 60k+.. although im the only child, but its too much.. this is why i want to have my own money.. so,i decided to work and stop my studies for a while.. i mean a year.. then, i went to S and applied a job there.. but, they asked me to wait for their call..until now, i didnt receive any call from them.. then, i find another alternative to earn money.. i search for some online jobs on the internet.. i've try a few of them,but sadly, all of them were scam..not ALL.. but, SOME of them.. meanwhile, my gf was convincing me to continue my studies.. she made think twice.. but, i still want to work.. but idk where to start.. she was worried about me because im here in subang alone doing nothing.. then, she start persuading me again to continue my studies.. this time, i really think twice and yes, i want to continue my studies.. but, first i need to master my math skills back because i think im stupid than 5th grader.. *sigh* thanks to NABILAH, u helped me a lot, baby :) now, the problem is abah wants me to go home first.. he wants to discuss about my decision of continuing my studies..when it comes to abah, he likes to make his own decision and its more difficult than it should be..but, of course he always follow my decision.. abah abah.. i love u jugak macam mana pun.. u are still my abah.. n mak pun.. thanks for always be by my side in every decision that i've made.. i love u too :) but, i cant start my 3rd sem on 11th january because abah wants me to go home.. sorry, NABILAH ;( sorry abah, mamat x angkat call abah one day semalam..im stressed ;( abah start his bonding with jaja back last night..lagi la kena paksa balik dengan jaja.. *sigh* nevermind.. i'll go back around 11th la paling awal pun.. i want to spend time with her dulu on 10th ;) if abah still force me to go back, then i'll go home lah.. master my math skills kat sana dulu, DRIVING LICENSE please abah, then im here back in subang lah.. ok, thats the plan.. hopefully jadi :)
to NABILAH.. im sorry for everything that happened last night.. i was so stressed yesterday.. sorry for being a jerk.. i didnt mean to hurt u ;( please forgive me ;( thanks NABILAH YAZID for always be by my side thru thick and thin.. i really appreciate everything that you help, give, advice me.. i love you so much, NABILAH :)

see ya around,blog..

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idk. (0)

hey,blog..im your owner..nice to meet you..idk where i get the idea to blog..but it seems fun to me..everything is new to me..maybe i need a friend who can listen to everything that i wanna talk about..thats y i created u..lol..im bored..

till then..bye bye,blog..

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